Why We Need to Talk About Male Betrayal Trauma

By Adam Nisenson, LMFT, CSAT

The Betrayal Shrink

Let’s get one thing straight: men get cheated on too. And when it happens, it cuts just as deep.

But here’s the problem—most men don’t talk about it. When a man is betrayed by his partner, he doesn’t get the same social permission to break down, fall apart, or say, “This wrecked me.” The world expects him to man up, move on, and pretend he never felt anything in the first place. That silence? It’s killing us.

I created Men Get Cheated On Too—the podcast, my book; “A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal”, men’s groups, this entire platform—because this conversation was missing. There were plenty of resources for betrayed women (and rightfully so), but men were left in the shadows. No roadmaps. No language. No space to fall apart and begin to rebuild.

I’ve been there. When my now ex-wife cheated, it shattered me. Not just my marriage—but my sense of identity, my confidence, my ability to trust myself. I wasn’t just grieving a relationship—I was grieving my stability, my safety, my story. And when I went searching for help, all I found were messages that didn’t fit the male experience. So I made one.

This isn’t about bashing the betrayer. It’s not about blame or bitterness. This is about healing. About looking directly at the pain without pretending it doesn’t hurt. Because let me tell you something: pretending it didn’t affect you doesn’t make you strong. It makes you sick. Pain doesn’t disappear just because you bury it—it festers. It shapeshifts. It leaks into your work, your relationships, your health, your sleep. And for too many men, it leads to anxiety, depression, isolation, even addictive behavior.

Male betrayal trauma is real. It just looks different. Some men shut down. Others rage. Some throw themselves into risky behaviors or emotional numbing because they’ve lost their sense of control. Many men don’t cry—they act. And underneath that action is often a deep, unspoken grief.

When society tells you to tough it out, you stop trusting your own pain. You convince yourself it wasn’t that bad. That maybe you’re overreacting. That you just need to move on. But when betrayal trauma goes unacknowledged in men, it becomes corrosive. And that’s why I’m here—to give that pain a name, a language, and a way forward.

You’re not weak for being hurt. You’re not less of a man for needing help. You’re not pathetic for crying. In fact, being able to say, “This destroyed me, and I’m still standing”—that’s strength.

So let’s stop pretending we’re fine. Let’s stop performing emotional numbness like it’s a badge of honor. Healing starts when you stop hiding. When you say, even if just to yourself, “This mattered. And I matter too.”

This is your place. This is your voice. This is your story.Welcome to the conversation.

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Episode 1: Why We Need to Talk About Male Betrayal Trauma

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